


Searching for Something

by Dracones



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Anal Fingering, Back and Forth Dominance/Power Play, Basically Two Girls Like Each Other And Get Creative, Before I Can Write The Three-Way Relationship, Breasts, Cunnilingus, Discussion of Breasts, F/F, Face-Fucking, Female Homosexuality, Femslash, Fingerfucking, Firey!Arya, From Chasing Cats, Gen, I Didn't Expect That Either., I Need To Write This Pairing, Icy!Dany, Jon/Arya/Dany, Of Course There's Power Play, Of Individual Relationships That Is, SlightlySociopathic!Dany, Strong Female Characters, They're Both Strong Dominant Characters, To Chasing Each Other, To Complete The Set, Vaginal Fingering, fun fun fun, that is, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-21 07:25:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4820444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dracones/pseuds/Dracones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She finds within herself a swelling of happiness and contentment and love, and it more than bridges every gap she's ever felt, and for a moment that feels like it could last forever Daenerys is truly human, whole and unblemished and joyous, emotional, and, more than anything, happy.</p><p>She feels better than she's ever been, and the night is only just beginning.</p><p>Or, my Arya/Dany AU! Because they'd be ridiculously awesome together and we all know it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Searching for Something

The world is full of dull, uninspiring places, people, and emotions. She knows it, in fact, everyone knows it, and she is certain that everyone knows she knows it. She shows her disregard in her attitude, her cold and aloof mask, her composure. Very little surprises her, as she looks at the world objectively, seeks the truth of the matter before her, and is unfazed by the mundane nature of most issues she encounters as she goes about her daily life.

Sometimes, she thinks she must be a little bit sociopathic. She doesn't want to kill people, but she doesn't want to help them, either. She distances herself, and, when forced to be close, pretends to hold some level of companionship or association with the other people, while she can only guess at the normal feeling behind such actions. She does what she does for herself, not her peers.

Sometimes, she wonders if she is distant simply because of some innate wish to be different. She hates the idea of being like them, the faceless masses, so dull, so conformist; their petty ambitions and dreams so in line with their expected behaviours. Everybody wants to be somebody, everybody wants to fall in love and be free and live in a perfect world where nothing ever goes wrong and so they join charities or donate to charities or campaign to get a better leader elected to stand at the head of a system that won't facilitate the changes they and their leaders all want, and it's all so conformist. Hate everything politicians stand for? Support a different one! Want to fall in love? Socialise among people looking for people to love and one will turn up eventually! _It isn't fate that brought you together,_ Dany wants to scream, _it's a simple case of probability!_ Want to be different? Adopt an unusual persona. _Is this what she's done?_ she wonders. _Is she just normal?_

Sometimes, she wonders if she is incapable of emotion not because of genetics but because of how she grew up. It was a harsh world, always harshest to her, with a brother who was mad and no money and always moving house from cheap place to cheaper place. Did she fail to learn how to feel then, in her years of initial development? Or was it her teenage years that made her who she is today, years of watching the cruelty of the world and suffering it at the hands of a surprisingly caring husband who her brother had arranged for her to marry, and who was the first person she'd known who was not already family that she'd grown to love?

Sometimes, she thinks that things had seemed brighter with Drogo, but he had died and left her better off than before - there was a manageable income for her in his will. Is love the cure? Does she need to learn to love again, to fill this gap in herself where emotions should be? It is a gap that has been left empty for too long.

Sometimes, she can feel the gap. When she looks at crowds at festivals, or concerts, or parties, and sees the joy on their faces and the happiness and the socialising and she feels it not. It's like her mind, rather than having some indeterminable space within it where emotions should have been, is half-empty almost permanently, as if there are levels of pleasure beyond simply _not irritated_  which remain permanently locked to her no matter how far in the game that is life she progresses.

(The space could not possibly be half-full, as optimism is a trait of the happy, and though Daenerys is many things, including a loner with no name and no social life, a "weirdo with a weird name," and "that girl who had a miscarriage," she is not a happy person.)

Often, when studying History and Politics in the University of the Crownlands, she finds herself identifying with certain historical figures. Not the ones who were famous for building great castles or doing great deeds for love, like Durran Godsgrief of the legends, not the rulers who were kind and just, like Jaehaerys the Conciliator, who gave the realm peace. Daenerys identifies with the ambitious, cunning minds, unrestrained by emotion, of cooler temperaments, or at least, those who seem that way, such as Tywin Lannister over the course of the last few years, or Aegon the Conqueror. Stannis Baratheon had been cut from the same cloth, but led astray and tricked by some Essosi peddler of drugs, who'd made him feel incredible and indomitable and made him lose track of what made him who he was.

Always, Daenerys stays away from drugs like they were contagious. There are other things that can make her feel a certain level of pride; excellence in her studies most often, or the exploits of one of her less-troubled ancestors. Drugs would change her, she fears, and while she might be the only one to do so she likes who she is.

Sometimes, she wonders if there is a hope of ever bridging the gap. It would take something unquestionably important to her, more so than Drogo and more so than her dead child, as neither of them proved enough. But then, could anything? She is utterly convinced that she simply cannot feel such intense realms of passion as such a bridge would require.

Naturally, fate intervenes to tear down her assumption in the most blasé manner possible.

* * *

She is walking down a street, minding her own business and glancing over all the boring people around her, when a cat bolts out of an alleyway and up a small tree to her left. The tree is no sapling, though it is not taller than the buildings that surround it, but the branches begin about arm's length above Dany's head. The cat is arching its back, fur on end, and a girl bursts out of the alleyway after it, glancing about wildly. She meets Dany's eyes, and Dany glances up the tree at the cat, which shoots her an infuriated stare. She glares back at it, realising all of a sudden that she's stopped in the middle of the street to have a staring contest with a feline and turning away with disdain, almost crashing into the girl, who is young, and shorter than even Dany, and has short, wild black hair and a pale face.

"Leg up?" the girl asks.

Dany takes a while to digest this. "You've been chasing a cat down an alley through gods know what kind of muck and you expect me to put my clean hands together so you can step on them?"

She expects a whine, a "Be cool, dude!" or some such pathetic plea, but the youngster's reply is direct and to the point. "Fuck you, then." She turns, tries to scramble up the trunk, and fails. She snarls, tries again, and her feet slip and she's on her arse on the ground next to Dany, who's _just_ realised that she's _still_ standing there in shock and that she could be halfway down the street by now, never mind the fact that she wasn't going anywhere particularly anyway. She grits her teeth, resigns herself to her interest in seeing the saga of the cat and the girl reach an end, and extends a hand to the girl on the floor, who pushes herself up without.

It's an entirely predictable reaction given the girl's attitude so far, but Dany still feels slighted. The girl is halfway up the trunk again when Daenerys realises that somehow she's become invested in this issue. She's irrationally disappointed in the fact that the girl has rejected her unspoken apology and the possibility of further assistance which came with it, and she's still in exactly the same fucking place, staring, as the cat climbs higher and the girl remains near-stationary.

Sighing with impatience, Dany steps forwards, places both hands on the girl's firm rear, and pushes. There is a squeak of surprise, but the shorter girl has grabbed a branch and hauled herself onto it. Ten seconds later, she's got both arms well scratched but wrapped firmly around the cat and has jumped to the floor and released it.

"And what exactly was the point of that?" Danaerys is practically infuriated; the cheek of the girl, wasting her time chasing a cat only to let it go again!

"I wanted to catch the cat," the girl snaps.

"And why did you want to catch the cat?"

"To prove that I could do it."

"Why exactly did you want to do it?"

The girl rolls her eyes, exasperated, before grinning mischievously. "I've heard that "doing it" can be fun. Want to find out with me?"

"I know what "Do-" shit," Dany mumbles the last word, as if that compensates for practically shouting the first section.

"Not with me you don't," the girl smirked. She steps closer, plants a slim finger on Dany's collarbone, and smirks, leaning in. Dany is spellbound - no, she is shocked because of this girl's forwardness, not spellbound because she's entranced by her utter self-confidence. "I'm Arya Stark," the girl says, as if it means something. "And I catch things on the streets of King's Landing for thrills. You're on the street, you're fair game, and if you complain that I'm stalking you I've got you on harassment of a minor - myself. You grabbed my arse." Arya's hand slips to the back of Dany's neck and the other joins it there. "But I think I may let you off for that, just between us," she says, tilting her head as she considers, eyes flickering all over Dany's face. "You're beautiful as fuck," she growls, and pulls Dany's face to hers with remarkable strength.

Their kiss is feirce, but Dany is no longer motionless, and she kisses back just as hard as the younger girl is for a few seconds before catching Arya's bottom lip in her teeth and pulling back, hard, meeting her eyes with unquenchable fury before letting go and standing tall and straight, looming over the other girl by a good head's height. Arya bites her own bottom lip, as if to show that she can do it too, before lowering her chin and staring intensely at Dany's boobs. Dany's eyes narrow.

"Don't!"

"Why not? That top's very low-cut for someone who doesn't want people to look. Or do you think it's unfair? Do you want to see mine too?"

"I doubt you have any," Dany remarks snidely, as if she hasn't noticed them (and she has, and they're small but pert and surely perfectly formed and they're covered only by the top's thin fabric), because if she doesn't snap back then she'll kiss the brat herself to shut her up.

"Oh, I assure you," Stark says, stepping closer, neck emerging from between Dany's breasts as her shoulders press against their undersides and two hard nipples press into Dany's ribs. "I certainly have some." Dany feels a hand slide in between the girl's breast and her own skin; it slides upwards to the tune of Arya's mouth whispering soft words: "And I think you do too." Dany's breath catches as her breast is lifted gently from Arya Stark's shoulder, but the breath is immediately released in a gasp as the soft flesh is suddenly squeezed and Dany jerks back.

Chaos erupts briefly as an accusatory cry comes from the side. Arya turns, a snarl on her face, eyes flashing, before turning on her heels and sprinting, a Goldcloak close behind. Another is by Dany's side, telling her that it's alright, that she's alright, and asking her to describe the assaulter, while taking notes in a notebook that Dany can read over his shoulder as she pretends to cry. The words say _teenage boy_ and _sexual assault_ and _short dark hair_ and _skinny_ , and when he asks her what happened she says that it's a blur and it happened so fast and she repeats his writings back at him and he nods and adds _victim confirms_ to his list.

The other goldcloak returns, they take her name and details, and tell her that the culprit got away and she doesn't know why she hasn't given them the girl's - Arya's - name, but she knows that in the kiss and caress of this girl she has felt alive for the first time since Drogo.

* * *

She tells herself that she only searches for the girl's name in the phone book out of curiosity, to find out whether there truly is such a person or the name she gave was fake. When she discovers no sign of the name she breathes a sigh, _of relief,_ she tells herself, before she realises that the girl who called herself Arya is too young to be in the phone book, and her heart jumps in a manner she can't quite explain away so easily.

* * *

She is more attentive to her surroundings over the course of the next month, but not once does she spot as much as a flash of that dark hair. Not that she wants to, of course; she's simply being wary. She hates being accosted in the street by strangers. She doesn't think of Arya as a stranger, but that's not the point; whatever Dany wants to think, the fact is that she doesn't know the girl at all, and that is how things will stay.

* * *

Fate spits in the face of Daenerys' plans yet again.

* * *

A month after the incident, Dany is in a lecture and overhears a snippet of conversation from a row in front; "... tell us, Miss Stark, what it is that so endears me to you?" Dany immediately snaps to attention, casting her eyes over the entire room until she finds the source and the subject of the conversation, sitting side-by-side. Neither are the girl Dany has met _and obsessed over ever since,_ but since one is called Stark, (she recognises the other as Tyrell,) she resolves to talk to the red-haired girl.

Once the lecture is over, Dany means to follow her, but both girls go to speak to the professor but Dany has no questions and so she loiters by the door. But they exit through a side-door and she has to rush outside to catch up with them and she spots them heading for the car park. She is about to break into a sprint when they open the door of a  _Manticore_ and she is too far away to catch up on foot. A split-second decision sees her rush to the nearby bike-park, where her beautiful silver _Dothraki_ from Drogo awaits, and she's got it started in record time.

She follows the car at a respectful distance as it winds through the roads towards Visenya's Hill, where the car stops and Dany does too. The red-haired girl - Stark - gets out, kisses Tyrell gently on the lips, and heads into a large, detached house. Dany remains as Tyrell drives off, pondering love, loss, and desperation for minutes on end.

* * *

Her contemplation ends when she feels a hard pinch to her rear through her brown leather trousers. She whirls, feeling her hair fan out behind her (and at that moment realising that she has left both her bag and her helmet in the lecture theatre) to find Arya Stark standing there with a devilish grin on her face that Dany wants to hate but can't bring herself to.

"Creep." Such is the first word out of the other girl's mouth, but Dany will not retaliate; she has been picturing their interactions for weeks now and has decided not to rise to barbs; she goes on the offensive instead.

"So you gave me your real name after all... and now I know where you live. The Goldcloaks already believe you sexually assaulted me; I could have you taken in in an instant. I have leverage over you; I'm calling it in."

Arya scowls, as if realising that her actions have consequences. "What do you want from me?"

Dany smirks. "Oh, not much... Just your number and a date."

A grin springs to Arya's face.

* * *

The next day they meet up, at this little café run by a friend of Arya's in the city centre. It's small, perhaps _quaint_ is the word, but it's between their homes and they can both reach it easily. Arya's personality seems to fill the room. Arya talks about her family, herself, her life, her taste in music, and everything under the sun while the owner, who tells everyone to call him Hot Pie, is in the room, but in his absence Arya turns the topic to Dany. However, when it becomes clear that Dany is not entirely willing to discuss her past and has said almost all she can on her present, her date for the day (week _month_ **year** _**decade**_ **century _FOREVER_** ) chooses instead to wax lyrical about how _pretty_ Dany is and why she _likes_ her and how she'd love to be sitting _next_ to Dany rather than across from her so she could _finger her under the table_ and _watch her writhe_.

Dany grins and bears it because she hasn't been this wet in forever and she loves the way this little minx is all talk, and she says so, but she's soon eating her words when Arya slips into the seat next to her in the booth like she belongs there and slips her hand down Dany's skirt like it's been there all her life. Arya's nimble fingers have brought her to the edge in less than a minute, all five teasing and playing with her clit and her slit and then the littlest one sliding in as far as it would go and Dany is almost twitching and about to come when she hears Hot Pie's voice from across the table saying "Oh, you've moved" to Arya and her eyes jerk open.

"Well, you know," Arya tells him, "We are moving pretty fast, I guess." The word "fast" is marked by a rapid thrusting of the little finger, still within Dany. Arya glances at Dany's face with a sly grin and says, "It helps that we have the capacity to be so open," withdrawing the finger and spreading Dany's lips as wide as she can, before looking back to Hot Pie with the phrase "We're in a really good place in our relationship at the moment, wouldn't you agree Dany?" And Dany nods vigorously, because Arya has pinched her clit three times in time with the words _really good place_ and she is coming very very hard indeed. Nothing has felt this good for as long as she can remember.

She faintly hears Hot Pie ask them if they'd like some more biscuits and Arya turns to her and says "What do you want, Daenerys? More?"

Dany orders, as imperiously as she can, "More," because though she's full, her reply means that when Hot Pie leaves Arya leans in and kisses her as she thrusts two fingers deep and it feels _excellent._

Dany has never been fucked in such a public fashion before, and has only been with one other girl, but Irri, with her smooth techniques and practiced caresses, is nothing like Arya, whose relentless and rough nature is simple honesty and lust in its purest form. Dany appreciates this greatly… But perhaps not so much when the girl in question is bringing her to orgasm in a cafeteria for the third successive time. Whilst she’s gritting her teeth and trying not to scream, (which is ridiculously hard considering the fact that Arya has decided that Dany’s juices have lubricated her little finger enough to massage her prostate as well as fingerfucking her and rubbing her clit all at the same time and dear gods it feels excellent,) Dany decides that she will have to get revenge on this insufferably attractive and reckless girl as soon as she can.

She achieves some of her revenge (which she will assign to the first of the three orgasms) on her _Dothraki,_ when she repeatedly breaks the speed limit to a ridiculous extent and takes several corners far too fast, and while Arya doesn’t scream, the clenching of her arms around Dany’s stomach is a very good indication that the fifteen-year-old is absolutely terrified. _Strike One,_ Dany thinks.

The second revenge comes later. They spend the afternoon at Dany’s apartment, getting to know one another, watching a bit of TV, and generally lazing about. At about six, Dany excuses herself to go to the toilet and plan her next move. When she returns, naked, she finds Arya in the same state on her leather sofa, gazing about absently and playing with a nipple, head against the armrest, feet just reaching the other, beautiful smooth legs crossed at the ankle.

“Great minds think alike,” Dany smiles, and there’s a short period of genuine humour and appreciation in both their eyes before they shift to lust and a different kind of appreciation. A second later, Dany is pouncing on Arya, straddling her stomach and looking down. “It turns out that you do have breasts after all,” she remarks, reaching down to them and stroking the soft flesh with both her hands.

“As if you didn’t feel them the day we met,” Arya snorts, reaching up to Dany’s larger tits with the words “but I only felt one of yours…” She licks her lips suggestively and Dany feels a rush of desire to simply let Arya do her thing, but she controls herself and pushes her girlfriend’s hands away.

“My turn,” she says, leaning forwards to kiss the younger girl gently. She shifts back after a minute of gentleness and follows it up with licks from Arya’s nipples to her throat, one hard peak after the next. Arya’s head is tossed back, throat exposed, and Dany keeps kissing her there while shifting her position as best she can. Arya’s eyes are closed and her moans are loud, particularly when Dany’s knees begin to caress her breasts as Dany moves up to her lips again.

Then Dany jerks her hips forwards and leans back, one hand grasping the back of the sofa, one woven into Arya’s hair, her knees either side of her torso and her cunt above Arya’s chin, in fact, pressing enthusiastically into said chin.

“I don’t care what you think of me while I do this,” Dany tells her, “and I don’t care what you do while I do it either. But I am going to grind myself to orgasm on your face and if you want this relationship to continue you won’t even think of trying to stop me. Got it?”

Arya raises a thin eyebrow in response, and Dany is worried for a second, but then the girl underneath her drawls, “Get on with it, then, I can’t be here all day,” and Dany is fucking ecstatic and it shows itself in an immense smile which soon transforms itself into a kind of evil grin as she starts to move, first pressing her opening to Arya’s chin before rubbing her slit as a whole along then other girl’s neck and humping that general region. Then, she starts rubbing herself off against Arya’s face in general; be it her cheek, nose, or jaw, Dany is dominant and in control; she uses her grasp on Arya’s head to help herself along, and when she looks downwards to see her lover’s face contorted with glee, staring at Dany’s bouncing tits and fucking herself to the sight, it’s enough to get her off there and then, and she rubs her clit on Arya’s forehead a couple of times anyway as she does so before simply hovering over her face and absolutely soaking it with her juices as Arya, eyes wide open, takes in the sight. _Strike Two._

Dany comes down from her high to find Arya close to achieving her own, hips undulating in time with her fingers, breasts jiggling, and the joy of orgasm almost on her face already. Dany watches for a second, climbs off the young girl who’s so enraptured she barely even notices, takes an index finger into her mouth, wipes it on her soaking cunt for good measure, and thrusts it without warning into the other girl’s arsehole. Arya screams as she comes, the first time Dany’s witnessed her orgasm, and it’s beautiful; from the ever-pretty face covered in Dany’s own juices to the manic writhing of her hips and the way Dany can feel her clench around her finger.

 _Strike Three_ , thinks Dany. _Revenge is complete._ But it isn’t just Dany’s search for vengeance that feels completed in that moment. It’s very rare that Dany feels completely, unreservedly happy. But she does now, a fifteen-year-old’s anus squeezing her tightly, still reliving the aftermath of her own orgasm, and for a second – just a second – it is as if the gap is filled – not to the brim, but almost there.

It soon fades, though, and Dany finds herself missing the sensation. However, when she looks back into Arya’s eyes it springs into being again, and at the sight of her enraptured smile Dany’s heart leaps. Perhaps now she can stop searching.

But before she contemplates the matter more, Arya’s hand shoots out and grasps Dany’s hair, pulling her between her legs with great enthusiasm. Dany has to adjust her body to the angle, and ends up kneeling on the sofa, arse in the air and face pressed into Arya’s vulva. She pulls away for a second, and says, “You realise that I shall have my revenge for this indignity, too?” to which Arya laughs.

“I’m sure I’ll enjoy this one just as much as the last three,” she replies, and smothers Dany’s reply between her muscular thighs. But Dany only teases, playing gently, using her fingers every now and then, rather than using the enthusiasm which her lover surely desired, if her impatient moans were anything to go by. But Dany is stubborn, and will not conform, and Arya is stubborn, and will not beg, and together their stubbornness means that Dany brings Arya almost to the brink before withdrawing, licking her lips and tasting her lover's cum, three times in fifteen minutes.

Eventually, Arya snarls, pulls Dany up to face her, and kisses her fiercely, tasting her own juices in the process. "You can kiss me how I like it here, now kiss my cunt the same way," she instructs, intensely.

"What's the magic word?"

"Oh, don't become my sister!"

"Your sister's hot," Dany jokes.

"Not as hot as you, and twice as bossy," Arya replies, kissing Dany gently. "... Please?"

Arya looks so vulnerable, for a second, and Dany's heart swells. She kisses Arya again, kisses a trail down her body, sucks both tits, and, finally, between Arya's legs with the girl screaming and coming and coming and screaming again above her, she finds within herself a swelling of happiness and contentment and love, and it more than bridges every gap she's ever felt, and for a moment that feels like it could last forever Daenerys is truly human, whole and unblemished and joyous, emotional, and, more than anything, happy.

She feels better than she's ever been, and the night is only just beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by All My Life, by the Foo Fighters, in particular by the line "All my life I've been searching for something," the idea in my head that this something could be another person, an emotion, or a feeling, and the fact that it is technically a song about giving oral sex to a woman, which I certainly intended to write a passage on when I started this.
> 
> It seems there are always unexpected character developments in my writings nowadays. There was the twist in Shadowcats on FF.net, there was Perceptive!Ygritte, and now there's Sociopathic!Dany. In this case, I had a choice; I could portray her character as either fire or ice. For all her association with fire, I felt something different was needed; and All My Life doesn't exactly lend itself to a destructive perspective quite as well as it does a distant one; at least before the chorus kicks in. The idea that Dany is distant with the world but brought to true emotional heights through love and attachment is in my mind a compelling one; One could argue that even in canon her passion for her people derives from both the bond of "Mhysa!" they develop, and the connection through this bond to the attachment she retains to Rhaego, and, through him, Drogo... I think this will become a new fanon of mine.
> 
> Love, Loss, and Desperation is a reference, if anyone spotted it... A REFERENCE TO A BAND I'VE SEEN TWICE IN THE PAST SEVEN DAYS AND I'M STILL HOARSE FROM ALL THE CHEERING! (FOR THE RECORD, TODAY IS SATURDAY AND I SAW THEM ON THURSDAY NIGHT AND THE SUNDAY NIGHT BEFORE THAT.) They were absolutely awesome both nights. Just thought I'd put that out there.
> 
> I think that's all, really. Hope you liked it!


End file.
